{"id":1197,"date":"2015-03-27T08:55:41","date_gmt":"2015-03-27T12:55:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/familyengagement.nipissingu.ca\/?p=1197"},"modified":"2019-07-22T15:21:23","modified_gmt":"2019-07-22T19:21:23","slug":"what-matters-most-in-family-school-engagement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/03\/27\/what-matters-most-in-family-school-engagement\/","title":{"rendered":"What Matters Most in Family-School Engagement?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1206 \" src=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"817\" height=\"264\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM.png 1342w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM-300x97.png 300w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM-1024x331.png 1024w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM-250x81.png 250w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-11.17.45-AM-150x49.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 817px) 100vw, 817px\" \/>Today\u2019s families, schools, and communities often feel pulled in many different directions for many different purposes. Societal norms, curricular expectations, self-imposed and peer pressures, even media portrayals of what is right and wrong leave many of us wondering, <em>What matters most?<\/em> If we look both inward and outward, backward and forward, we know that that the answer to this question can often be summarized in a single statement:\u00a0<em>What matters most is that I was important in the life of another\u2026\u00a0<\/em><!--more--><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">A Note to School<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1203\" src=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"223\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM.png 1344w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM-300x167.png 300w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM-1024x570.png 1024w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM-250x139.png 250w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/Screen-Shot-2015-03-25-at-10.40.40-AM-150x83.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">I came across this poem in my travels and it made me think about the difference we make each day\u00a0in the life of my child. I just wanted to say, &#8220;Thank You.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">A parent who makes a difference<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">Ultimately, feeling important in the life of another or making a difference in the world\u00a0is what we want for ourselves, our children, our families, our schools, and our communities. But, what does this mean within the context of family-school engagement? And what does\u00a0being important and making a difference in family-school look and sound like?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1202\" src=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/matters.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"248\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/matters.jpg 400w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/matters-194x300.jpg 194w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/matters-97x150.jpg 97w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 160px) 100vw, 160px\" \/>What matters most (according to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.online-literature.com\/tolstoy\/2736\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Leo Tolstoy<\/a> as retold by Jon Muth in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=5pOIYGjjvRc\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><em>The Three Questions<\/em><\/a>) is to ask ourselves these three questions: <em>What is the most important\u00a0thing to do? When is the right time to do things? Who is the most important one?<\/em><\/p>\n<ul style=\"text-align: justify\">\n<li>What is the most important\u00a0thing to do in terms of family-school engagement? How do we know what to do first?<\/li>\n<li>When is the most important time? What are the most important opportunities? What is not to be missed?<\/li>\n<li>Who are\u00a0the most important people, the ones that I should listen to before all else, within the context of family-school engagement?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">These questions underpin the work that we do with families, schools, and communities. Not only are they theoretical and philosophical, but they are also practical and professional\u00a0questions that can guide us in productive relationships with each other. They are also wonderful life lessons for children.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-1205\" src=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/time.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"212\" height=\"141\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/time.jpg 450w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/time-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/time-225x150.jpg 225w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/time-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 212px) 100vw, 212px\" \/>At a theoretical and philosophical level, we can emphatically say that what matters most for family-school engagement is that we consider alternative perspectives, find our strengths, and work within our comfort areas. The most important\u00a0time is always and forever, and the best\u00a0place is a judgement-free context that allows us to be who we are, a context that does not view family-school engagement as a one-size-fits all approach. With the child at the core of all we do, we cannot go wrong; so, the most important ones are the ones in relationship, the ones who\u00a0work toward the best interests of the child. This is not always easy, but what we do know is that\u00a0families, schools, and communities (like children)\u00a0need to develop a sense of well-being, resilience, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/what-matters-most\/201411\/well-doing-well-being-children\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">well-doing<\/a>. We need to struggle with success (See <a title=\"Too Much, Too Little, or Just the Right Amount of Struggle: What Do Butterflies Have to Do With Engagement?\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/03\/12\/too-much-too-little-or-just-the-right-amount-of-struggle-what-do-butterflies-have-to-do-with-engagement\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Too Much, Too Little)<\/a>\u00a0and \u00a0celebrate the small successes of each day, realizing that even just one more family-school relationship brings us closer to our goals. Sometimes this means that we wait and set aside\u00a0our desire to see an immediate difference (see <a title=\"Family-School Engagement: How Do We Measure Up?\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/03\/06\/family-school-engagement-how-do-we-measure-up\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">How do we measure up?<\/a>)\u2026 we may not\u00a0always see the roots growing, but with a little patience and care, sooner or later, we just might see the sprout peek through the ground.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">At a practical and professional level, we can call forward some of the lessons we learn both on and off the school landscape.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1198\" src=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/starfish-story-websize.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"317\" height=\"466\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/starfish-story-websize.jpg 504w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/starfish-story-websize-204x300.jpg 204w, https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/26\/2015\/03\/starfish-story-websize-102x150.jpg 102w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 317px) 100vw, 317px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><strong>What is the most important\u00a0thing to do in terms of family-school engagement? How do we know what to do first?<\/strong> We know that at the core of all we do is trust, compassion, and setting aside assumptions (See <a title=\"One More Marble in the Jar: What Does Trust Have to Do With It?\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/09\/25\/one-more-marble-in-the-jar-what-does-trust-have-to-do-with-it-2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">One Marble in the Jar<\/a>). As teachers, we need to keep it real, and we need to know how to offer our own stories of experience in order to connect, relate, and empathize (<a title=\"Special Forks, Broken Lamps, and Lullabies: Engaging Families Through Story\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/10\/16\/special-forks-broken-lamps-and-lullabies-engaging-families-through-story\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">See Special Forks<\/a>). Keep in mind that often simple is better, and that whatever we do, we need to keep it manageable and sustainable (See <a title=\"Family-School Engagement with Simplicity in Mind\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/02\/11\/family-school-engagement-with-simplicity-in-mind\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">With Simplicity in Mind<\/a>, <a title=\"A Warm and Safe Welcome\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/01\/22\/a-warm-and-safe-welcome\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">A Warm and Safe Welcome<\/a>, <a title=\"Feel the Difference, Share the Experience, Imagine the Future\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/01\/15\/feel-the-difference-share-the-experience-imagine-the-future\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Feel the Difference<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><strong>When is the most important time? What are the most important opportunities? What is not to be missed?<\/strong> The most important time is when it is needed; the most important opportunities are often those that are unimagined: the walks in the park, the discussion in the grocery store parking lot, the conversations along the boards at a hockey game, the communication to and from school (See <a title=\"Empowering Families to Communicate with Confidence\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/10\/09\/empowering-families-to-communicate-with-confidence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Communicating with Confidence<\/a>, <a title=\"How Do I Share Information? Let Me Count the Ways\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/10\/30\/how-do-i-share-information-let-me-count-the-ways\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">How Do I Share Information<\/a>, <a title=\"Communication For Good and For Bad\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/11\/06\/communication-for-good-and-for-bad\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Communication for Good and For Bad<\/a>. Engaging schools and families in real life situations keep us grounded in the notion that,\u00a0<em>We are all the same, except in\u00a0the details.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\"><strong>Who are\u00a0the most important people, the ones that I should listen to before all else, within the context of family-school engagement?<\/strong> This is perhaps the toughest one of all\u2026 do we listen first to the mandate, to students, to families, to ourselves, to research? To me, this goes hand in hand with the most important time\u2026 the ones we listen to before all else are the ones in front of us, the ones who need to share and to make connections. We listen to our inner selves as this gives us an idea of the right thing to say and how to communicate with confidence. We listen to the research that tells us to set aside our deficit-based assumptions (See <a title=\"Engaged or Not? That is Often the Question\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/01\/29\/engaged-or-not-that-is-often-the-question\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Engaged or Not?<\/a>, <a title=\"Partnership, Engagement, Involvement: Is It Really Just Semantics?\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/10\/23\/partnership-engagement-involvement-is-it-really-just-semantics\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Is it Really Just Semantics<\/a>). And we brave the courageous conversations that allow us to\u00a0work effectively as family-school communities, keeping at the forefront\u00a0that all families want what is best for their children as do schools (See <a title=\"ABCs of Engaged Families in the 21st Century\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/12\/11\/abcs-of-engaged-families-in-the-21st-century\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">ABCs<\/a>, <a title=\"Welcome to Kindergarten! Engagement from the Very Beginning\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/02\/26\/welcome-to-kindergarten-engagement-from-the-very-beginning\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Welcome to Kindergarten<\/a>, <a title=\"Family-School Ways to Well-Being \u2013 We\u2019re All in This Together!\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2014\/11\/27\/family-school-ways-to-well-being-were-all-in-this-together\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Family-School Ways to Well-being<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">At the end of the day, the most important thing to do is in the moment, to be mindful of how the decisions we make each day impact family-school relationships and inspire collective confidence (See\u00a0<a title=\"Inspiring Collective Confidence: We Know We Can!\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/02\/19\/inspiring-collective-confidence-we-know-we-can\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Inspiring\u00a0Collective Confidence<\/a>). The most important time is right now\u2026 we cannot put off until tomorrow what needs doing today. And the most important ones are the ones we are with, the ones we have right in front of us.<\/p>\n<p>With thought, time, and effort, we can make a difference\u2026 one at a time. And that is what matters most.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify\">What are your theoretical, philosophical, practical, and professional beliefs and practices? Who are you within the context of family-school engagement?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today\u2019s families, schools, and communities often feel pulled in many different directions for many different purposes. Societal norms, curricular expectations, self-imposed and peer pressures, even media portrayals of what is right and wrong leave many of us wondering, What matters most? If we look both inward and outward, backward and \u2026 <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/wpms.nipissingu.ca\/familyengagement\/2015\/03\/27\/what-matters-most-in-family-school-engagement\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":139,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,9,14,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-enhancing-public-confidence","category-exploring-assumptions","category-getting-started","category-understanding-family-engagement"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Today\u2019s families, schools, and communities often feel pulled in many different directions for many different purposes. 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